At every turn the world calls us to perfection. Life is great and getting better, or we are overcoming an obstacle with style and perseverance. Like a jeweler sifting through diamonds we discard the flawed and discolored ones and display only those that glimmer with immaculate spectacle.
Yet even those who can maintain this facade indefinitely feel the lie eating at us from the inside. Life isn’t perfect, clean, and beautiful all the time. We all stumble, even the sure footed fall and are covered with the dirt of reality.
It’s okay to cry.
This is a lesson I’ve learnt slowly, and life has been an especially patient teacher with me this year. In the morning I would don my smile and face the day, while my true feelings lay trapped inside me howling to be free. I thought I was doing alright, at least most of the time. I pretended to laugh, to fit in, to show just how absolutely unflawed I was. Yet each crack of my smile drove another crack deep in my heart. My spirit wailed in pain as I heaped false pretenses on top of real sorrow.
This weekend I had a revelation. It’s okay to cry. Not just alone when noone is watching, but when I need to cry. The judge I should fear is not the condescending stares of my friends and coworkers, but the pitying whine of my dignity growing tired from juggling falsehoods.
As I cried, deep, heartfelt cries, I could feel the tears washing away all the masks I had created to protect me from the world. And it felt good to be authentic again!
Give yourself permission to cry.
Give yourself permission to break down, to let the smooth glass reflection of life crumble and expose the gentle and vulnerable human being inside. Sob hard, let the wrenching tears of your soul water the fertile soil of your spirit.
It is not in our perfection that we are beautiful, it is in our failings. It is the flaws, so wondrously woven into the tapestry of our existence where the heart beat of life resides.
Cry, knowing that within our greatest sorrow lie the seeds of happiness.
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